Wednesday, December 9, 2009

My Second Chance

It rained all day...I'm asking Mother Nature for a refund on the day. Brasilians are very much into red-tape, so maybe I'll have them fill out the paperwork for me. First, paying more for a room with an A/C that the past couple of days I don't need...AND what's up with Rio without the sun.

A refund I say...REFUND.

I'LL BE SOMEWHERE FOR CHRISTMAS

A couple of you have asked when I'm coming home for Christmas, or where I'll be spending it. I've avoided answering that question, because I really don't know yet.

I may extend my exit from Brasil until the first week of January...making my stay a full three months. It would be great to see the New Years Celebration on Copacabana Beach--I guess it's a sight to behold. PLUS, I've made a friend of one of the guys in charge of putting that celebration on...so I might have some good seats for the fireworks.

Or I maybe decide to spend a week or so in Buenos Aires, Agentina. If I do that, it would be the first week in January...which would require that I spend Christmas here in Rio.

And then there's always my original plan...return on the 18th and be home in Utah for a white Christmas.

At this point, I'm leaning on extending through the New Year, visiting Buenos Aires, and then returning back to New York...and my life.

I'll keep you posted.

SECOND TRY AT LIFE

Why'd I make that title of my blog. Hum, well today I was thinking about that. Did I come to Brasil to find myself. Nah...I think I found myself many, many years ago. Did I hope to explore a unique part of my life that I hadn't done in the US. Again, no. So why? Why think THAT heading fit my life here in Brasil.

In short...I think it's because I kind of am at a crossroads in my life. My career...the demise of my NYC business, and watching that all unfold now in the courts, and dwindling bank accounts. But as much as I hate to admit it, I think I'm kind of experiencing a Mid-Life Awareness (not a Crisis, because I don't feel that way about it). But yeah, I'm 50 years old. Who'd have thought? Who'd have thought?

This morning I think I found a gray hair on my stomach. I've had gray hair on my head now for a couple of years, although this past year, it's becoming much more prevalent. But so far only a few on my chest--I pluck them. Now my stomach...what's next? You know it goes downhill...I don't think I'm ready to find one in my nether regions. :) Help me no, not there. Ha Ha.

But aside from some grey hair, a thinning spot on my crown, and some wrinkles in all the expected places, I'd have to say I'm holding up pretty well. And I don't feel the effects of age that much. (aside from aches and creaks early in the morning). I never understood why older people stood up so slowly, but NOW I understand. And tying your shoelaces early in the morning is almost impossible.

I have started to think more about my downhill years than ever before--my career has a part to do with that, but also the fact that I might have to face those years alone. Not ALONE--I always have my family--but alone...without family, spouse, or loved one(s). I still hold out hope/expectations that will change, but yeah, if there's one thing that makes me feel a bit melancholy, that's it.

So Second Try at Life...well, it was kind of a misnomer...it should have been My Try at accepting my Second Half of Life.


And with that, off to bed. Night. Soul searching can be wrentching work. ;)

Choveu ontem a noite.


2 comments:

  1. Please start singing..."I"ll be home for Christmas.." Cause I am counting on you!
    Thanks for the insight into your "midlife awareness". Life really does have a way of forcing us to face it and you know I love "real" stuff. I love to know what your thinking and hoping for.
    I love you Brett, with all my heart.
    Sleep well,
    Kristi

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  2. Brett,
    This is one of the best postings you have written. I felt with you as you described your "mid-life awareness". I understood your loss. I am touched by the insights.
    I love you TOO!
    Vicki

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